Always perfect in every way.
from Requisite Beauty (Fib. Poetry and Portraiture)
Flaws to Flawless
Perfect is not perfection
Just what is perfection? This, I contemplate a great deal. Over the years, my perspective changed. How? Attitude; willingness; honesty; and trudging one foot in front of the other – trusting the unknown path.
You might be asking, “So, Connie, what does this have to do with Fib. Poetry? What is Fib. Poetry anyway?”
I am so glad you asked. Fib. Poetry is short for Fibonacci (link opens in new window); a sequence of numbers fascinating with multiple applications (read the quickie in wiki above). It is interconnected to the “Golden Ratio” or “Divine Proportion”; which has been used in the past to define “Perfect Beauty”(just type in any combination of search words). I encourage you to go beyond the Wiki. All kinds of endless correlations, studies, and opinions. Then again, I was a math nerd; still am.
I find an inner smirk of irony in the “Fib”. It is how I name it; know it; see it; so I can do something about it. I was a perfectionist. I had to be. So I thought. I believed I could achieve it. Maybe; or I would dye trying. If I could not achieve it; I should not exist. Right? The world did not need an imperfect Connie.
“I cut myself, because I want out.” “Be ugly.” “Look at yourself. You are so ugly! No wonder you are useless. You fat, ignorant, intellectually inferior, disgusting human! Eat Water.”
I face the mirror. I make no eye contact with myself. I make no eye contact with you. Tears fall and drip onto my collar bone. Slightly cold; weighty; they are (1990’s).
To be continued. . .
~Just for Today I repeated~
~It is safe to be who I am~
~Years it took to believe it~
Yes, I do believe it. Perfection is a lie. I lived it. My bones drank of it; felt it. My heart beat anyway. Thank goodness. I learned my flaws were beautiful. My weakness; useful. My human-ness; perfect imperfection.
Celebrate you, for you are beautiful.
paint much love, always,
Connie Karleta Sales
a.k.a. This Crooked Little Flower