#storyofmybones

We went for a walk today.  
together.  He pushed me.
and we enjoyed
silver-haired squirrels
and turtles at water’s edge.
is this redemption; the acceptance? 

in borrowed chair,
he asked me to give it a try.
life made easier
I do not know where this goes.  
The walk was beauty and free.  
My hesitant pause.

My heart in sun;
hidden by shadow
strange-cloud-kindness
tangible silence

and then,
giggles-goofy-loves.
CKS


Sometimes life feels as an endless cycle of starting over, without really understanding or knowing what that means. I know I do it a lot. I have trouble making decisions, and when I do, I wander through endless possibilities and doubt whether the decision was right. and in time, I lovingly make a mess.

You might notice my blog looks a bit different; in fact a little sparse, and you would be correct. It is bare, because I made a decision. I changed the plan I subscribe to. I don’t regret that decision, however, I apologize to you, because I did not fully understand what it meant.

When I changed, I lost my art, poetry, and life I have been sharing with you, and all the lovely comments you have shared with me. Please forgive me. That part was not intended,


In gratitude, though, I have wanted a way to feel good about this new season in my life. What does that look like? What does it mean? How do I share it with you? How do I feel good about going forward, without negating the past, and yet not feeling the need to have it so near?

My work is changing; not the heart of it, but changing none the less. So, perhaps, Mary, she has spoken, and helped me in ways I could not do for myself.

A very physical clean slate. Visceral starting again. So, I chose the above poem, because I wrote it while visiting my home away from home. And so tenderly was brought to us, a wheelchair. It was close to March of 2017, and struggling I was. I refused to give up my canes and walker for a chair.

I thought that meant giving up. I thought it proved what a failure I was.


and then, my hubby and I went for a walk along this greenbelt and really enjoyed ourselves. Rather than me worrying about him worrying about me; we enjoyed the walk, the trees, the animals, and each other.

why? because I allowed myself to accept what was, and accept the help of a simple chair, and the love of family and friends.


Today is a long ways from then; life has continued to change. My disease continues its progression, and the daily life choices and experiences do not stop. Life continues in all its beauty and difficulties.

So, I hope you stay, and continue allowing me to share with you. May my art, poetry, and life, provide you with the sustenance you need on your own journey. Where it goes, nobody really knows. . .

paint much love, always,
Connie Karleta Sales
a.k.a. This Crooked Little Flower


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