a thing done,
We rest Your effort;
awhile we practice.
in stillness we rise;
a thing done.
living the movement
shed free I AM!
emergent — doing as being;
Theory of Dreams
Activation-synthesis theory is a neurobiological explanation for the genesis of dreams first proposed in the late 1970s by J. Allan Hobson and Robert McCarley. According to their theory, dreams are what result when the cerebral cortex attempts to make sense of (or synthesize) the neural activity that is taking place in lower, less-advanced portions of the brain, like the brain stem.
The lower-lying structures of the brain are primarily involved in biological functioning necessary for survival and reproduction, while the cerebral cortex is responsible for more advanced activity, such as thought development and processing. (from Lesson transcript, Chapter 4, Lesson 7, instructor Chris Clause, Activation-Synthesis Theory of Dreams: Definition & Explanation)
This time of year the days grow longer, and within my spiritual practice, I enter Lent, a time when we bury the Hallelujah. In action, we do not sing or use this word in daily life.
Lent, on the Christian Liturgical calendar, are 40 days mirroring the 40 days Jesus spent in the wilderness, before he began his ministry. Hallelujah is a word of praise in moment come, and Lent, moment become-ing.
Over the years of moving through this liturgical calendar of practice, seasons have evolved for me. Lent, used to be suffering, denial in a very physical sense. I fasted. I gave up physical things like chocolate. Things which made me feel apart of even though I really didn’t have much of a clue. But I did feel present with. while simultaneously still wrapping myself in the comforts of my fears; extreme shyness as a means of survival.
More and more my heart moves into stepping back and really asking, does this help me draw closer in relationship? to the God of my understanding, allowing the Light of Christ to move through me. Drawing me into physical relationship with you. people. Earth. Community. What does that look like?
I ask, where am I still piling over, creating false shyness? not allowing the stir humming; the doing being?
Today, on the eve of the next 40 days, I know where I run. I shield the desires of my heart within old tapes telling me i can’t. in very loud shapes and forms.
These voices sing into me; they pound with fists made of belts, telling me the how of being in relationship, is vain and narcissistic. I stand still in the wilderness of the between; unable to leave my hearts desire, simultaneously burying it in playing dumb and incapable and quiet.
This year, I am called to practice. I am called to give up this imposed stillness. My basic needs of survival are met today. I actively ask for help and do what I am able to meet my needs. My higher functioning is still working that out. to trust; myself and you.
I am responsible to you. I am again naked before you. letting go more of that onion as the saying goes. My go to answer is stating my desire and then negating it with “i don’t know what that looks like. . . “
I do know. My work in art and poetry is life living and sharing; struggling strong; flawed and imperfectly perfect.
Art and poetry befriended me as a little girl, and kept that stir humming inside my heart, and I lived. Today, I live well. I want you to have that kind of friendship too. In relationship within the creative process.
This year, I walk with my very old friend; rest belts of old tapes. thank you for your service. thank you for having tea with me. I know you helped me get to today. You helped me grow roots. Lets grow deeper in our dreams.
paint much love, always,
Connie Karleta Sales
a.k.a. This Crooked Little Flower
*feature image – in her soul there is stillness within the hours,
digital drawing, 4″ x 4″ ink, paper on wood, available