War-rooms willing in repetition;
Absence not an option. Is
Kindness? or basic
Internal element laying to ruin the
Gluttony. Consuming less; humanity’s collection.
CKS with Tracy Hicks
Walking with Deb Dog in the empty field by his studio.
It is not about collecting things. It is about collecting time; with friends; known and those he never met.
How I remember it
Tracy came to class. He was our professor. It was clear something was not right. Deb passed away on one of their walks in the empty field. He was both shaken with sadness and heavy with a smile.
I believe he we went home after situating the class. One of Deb’s favorite things to do was to go walking. She passed away at the side of her best friend, doing what she liked to do most.
I never knew Tracy without a dog
I never knew Tracy not walking. After Deb came Ilsa and after Ilsa came Dora.
These are the dogs I knew. These are the dogs of our friendship; measuring in dog years for it felt longer than it really was.
I always felt a sense of thinly veiled separation in Tracy’s work.
Isolation that comes with self-consciousness and insecurity; the quiet darkness of anxiety.
I also felt his love for his fellow humans; creatures; and lands. I felt his all-in nature; nothing left in the fridge or on his back. He was humbly bearing it all to you and me.
Generosity. Willingness. Observation. Opinion. Fear. Desire. Passion. Curiosity. I believe the “it” changes with each person he stood next to. mentored, befriended.
Do you bear love?
Yes. Is this negative? No. unless we allow it to consume us that way. Unless we stand by and allow others to consume others gluttonously this way.
Tracy did not stand by. Tracy did not allow his own quietness or anxious inner insecurities to stop him from inviting you in to share a meal for the body, mind, and soul.
Tracy invited you to practice, play, and wonder along side him. He did not hold himself up or down. He saw your beauty and your gifts. He wanted you to see the same. He challenged your comforts, and encouraged your curiosity.
He held life so precious, and loved beyond comprehensions. Indeed, he bore as much as he bare. With such a feast of creative love, he invited you to eat, have time, and be satiated.
Freedmen’s Field (Link opens in new tab)
What a feast! a beautiful, delicate dinner table of past and present. He shared this dinner with us. He shared the dinner with the memories of those he never knew.
Whoever these people were, Tracy and Deb had found remains of their lives. Didn’t matter who they were or were not, Tracy invited them to the table. Did not matter who we were or were not; who I was or was not; Tracy invited us to the table.
Today, help me bear it all to you; walk with you openly in naked invitation to the table created by our walks, together.
paint much love, always,
Connie Karleta Sales
a.k.a. This Crooked Little Flower