to have it all to give it all away
to feel free to feel it all in the me of me.
to come with a place of ground and solid state.
to have it all, to feel it free, to come into the me of me.
CKS

You may or may not have noticed changes in my website. I decided to go back to just having a blog and not an online store and I feel free(r). I feel weight being lifted off my shoulders. one less thing to think about and be responsible for.

Happenings in the last little bit have helped make these decisions.

I took a tumble; my wheelchair and I off a boardwalk. thankfully not hurt badly. nothing broken. a few bruises, very sore, and a mild head injury.

Then it triggered the NMO and Optic Neuritis in my left eye. You just never know do you. lol. I am healing. my head and eyes are getting better.

My life is full of uncertainty. What I enjoy about my website is sharing blog style. It is a happy place. I found myself not wanting to be in my website. frustrated and limited. as weird as that might sound.

Blogging I can do bedbound. I can do within many aspects of my illness. a store? not at this time. There is something I am toying around with and considering because it would be timely, and not round the clock. It would fit my heart of working a series and then bringing it out in public like I used to do. Then probably opening my studio once a year in the fall most likely.

i am making less commitments. looking at my needs. looking at some wants over “goals” i suppose.

Life is happening beyond my own illness and I have responsibilities there too and need to be present. Prioritizing becomes a must.

How about you? Have you been in times of prioritizing and shifting and making changing? How did it feel? Sometimes i find it quite hard. sometimes i feel a bit sad especially around art. I don’t know why. Those decisions are the hardest.

but I love blogging and don’t stop, and won’t. Also a funny thing, i think I am being censored a bit. Some of my thumbnails don’t show and I can’t figure out why yet. but I am leaving it for now. It seems poignant for some reason. I look and reflect. who knows. but maybe it will make an interesting pattern over time. UPDATE: Fixed. yay!!!!

So here she is looking up. Giving away something she thought she wanted. Hugging closer to what she loves. grieving the wounds she finds within new wounds. healing. laughing in the wander of this life. and she continues to ask for dreaming because as the Blondie song goes. dreaming is free. . . .

I hope this site is both quiet and loud. reflective and speaking. and I hope you will consider sharing it with others.

paint much love, always,
Connie Karleta Sales,
a.k.a. This Crooked Little Flower